Barely a month ago, Princess Zainab Abbah Folawiyo clocked 70 years. The fashion icon at a recent interview at her Queens Drive residence, Ikoyi, Lagos, talked about life’s journey and her late husband and business mogul, Chief Iyanda Folawiyo, among other issues. Excerpts…
How do you feel at 70?
At 70, I feel as I have always felt. I have good health and I’m happy. I’m just looking forward to it like any of the years I had spent. I have not changed. I am still the same Abbah.
Same Abbah how?
I’m still the same Abbah. The same Abbah you have always known for many years. I’m just the same.
Looking back now that you are 70, what are some of the things you recall about your marriage to Chief Folawiyo?
Just before my 70th birthday, a lot of people called to ask if the party would be a big event, but I said no because my husband is not alive. Before he died, I told him that when I am going to have my 70th birthday it would not be in Nigeria but abroad. I told him we would pick very few friends, including children, and we would all go on a cruise. My husband loved going on a cruise every year. I told him that was what I wanted for my birthday and that when we returned from the cruise we would have a nice party. He said hmmm… o mo ju iyen lo (That is all you know how to do). He later said, “ok, if that is what you want, Insha Allah, I will do it for you.” But he didn’t live to see the day. He’s gone. My husband liked quiet life. He was not flamboyant. He was an holy man and whatever made me happy he would do just for me because he knew I am a celebrity in my line of business. He knew the type of wife he had. I remember when he was going to marry me, he said I would not put on lipstick. I told him, chief, I will not marry you o, because I won’t take that o.” He said, “Ok, you can do whatever you like.” He selected my friends for me. He told me that if I attend parties I should spend one hour and come back home. I was able to adjust to that. If he said to me, ‘No, you are not going anywhere today,’ I won’t go. If he said don’t exceed one hour, I made sure I kept to the rules. I never had any problem with my husband. My birthday usually falls within the Ramadan period. That to me is a big blessing. I have to be sober, relate with God and ask Him for longer life. On that day, we had just prayers and after breaking the Ramadan fast that day, we had a small party. A number of important people like the former president, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo; Governor Babatunde Fashola; Ogun State governor, Senator Ibikunle Amosun; Chief Florence Ita-Giwa, among others, and friends came around to share the joy of the day with me and my family.
What was your childhood like?
Like I have always said, I was brought up in Accra by my grandfather and mother. It was a subtle life over there until I moved to Lagos, where the lifestyle was the go, go thing. I have few friends that we all go out together. I like dancing a lot. We used to go to Chief Billy Friday Club at Yaba. If we don’t go there for teatime dance, then nothing was done. We also used to go to late Bobby Benson’s Caban Bamboo. We went to many clubs, usually in the evenings. The clubs opened at 5pm and closed by 8pm. If by 8pm you didn’t get home, you were in trouble. You had to sneak in and out. We were all very happy.
What kind of outfits did you wear to parties in those days?
We wore mini-dresses, mini-skirts and trouser suits. That was the fashion trend then.
What are the greatest lessons life taught you these 70 years?
One should be humble, happy and also wish people well. There’s nothing in this world that we have to grab, grab, grab. At the end of your time, you don’t go with anything. That is one of the lessons one should learn. Whatever you can do, do it; what you cannot do, you leave. Don’t struggle to get this or that, saying I want to be very rich. Whatever God has given you, just accept it and live with it.
If you can turn the hand of the clock, what would you change about yourself?
I have no regret whatsoever with the life I have lived. It has been very beautiful for me. If I come back, I want to live the same life I had lived because I have no regrets whatsoever and I am happy with the life I have lived. It’s a good life. I’m very happy as I am. If I come back to this world again, I want to live the same way.
Let’s talk about your years in fashion designing. How do you feel being one of the foremost fashion designers in the country?
Ha! As a designer, I did my own bit and I am very glad that a lot of people have grown up now to become designers. Many years back, people were not interested. The late Grace Obong, Aunty Shade Thomas and myself, we were very few. Then, Oprah Benson opened her shop and started selling African clothes. Erelu Abiola Dosunmu also opened a shop in England. Everybody appreciated Nigerian designers. I just felt it was time to stop. I design for a few people now. We can’t go on and on. I have my daughters coming up as designers and I am very happy. I am fulfilled that many people are now into fashion.
Did you say your daughters are coming up as designers?
I regard all female designers as my daughters. They are doing very well.
How do you rate designers in Nigeria?
Well, we still have a long way to go. Government has to give us a nudge. I mean do something for designers. They have to move up, attend fashion week shows abroad, join international designers and showcase their talents. The designers are all single-handedly working for themselves and it’s a lot of money. It’s not cheap at all. You have to get models. During my days, I used to get models from America, London, Ghana and Nigeria. I used to put all of them together. To make a good show, you need a good model. Well, we have good models now. They are trying but then it’s not up to international standards. Moreover, you need good models to showcase your stuffs. If not, they won’t showcase your outfits well and I am very particular about good models. Our designers are trying and I support all of them. Some of them make clothes for me. When I see them, I appreciate them and I tell them to make one or two outfits for me and they do it for me.
What is the secret of your looking good?
A lady has to be gracious. You have to carry yourself well. I don’t ‘mis-wear’ what I put on. I wear what suits me. You will never see me overdressed anywhere. I wear simple dresses to make a statement.
What do you do to always look beautiful?
(Smiles) You’ve got to ask my mom. My dad was a very handsome man. My mom is very beautiful and she carries herself well. When you see her at parties, it’s like waoh!
She still attends parties?
Of course, yes. My mom is in her late 80, and she still carries herself well. The Ghanaian blood is still in her. You know she’s from Ghana. I’m half Ghanaian, half Nigerian. Do you know the popular saying that, Ko si arugbo ni Ghana? Meaning: No old woman in Ghana. I inherited that from my mom and I grew up there.
What is your relationship with the late Chief Obafemi Awolowo family?
Beautiful. One of them just called me this morning. We interact with each other very well. They are my family as well.
Your husband passed on some years ago. What do you miss about him?
I don’t want to talk about that, because I will start crying. I miss a lot about him. But his children didn’t leave me. They all relate with me as if he was still alive. He has good children, I must say. We are a whole family and we’ve lived together like that up till now. Whatever I want done, they do it for me. Whatever I need to have, they give me. I just have to open my mouth and tell them and it is done. They all accept me like their stepmother and their father’s wife. They love me and I love them as well.
Could you tell us something about polygamy, how to cope with it and stuffs like that?
Ha! Polygamy! Like when I married my husband, he already had two wives. I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope. I always told him, “Chief, am not going to marry you o. You have wives and I can’t cope with the quarrels that would follow. I don’t want that. I want my peace o.” But he insisted and when we got married, we all accepted each other and lived together happily. For me, nothing bothers me in life. Whatever situation I am in, I accept it. I was very happy with his wives before they started quarrelling and I remained the only wife he had in the house before he died. But we lived happily when we were together.
Some people believe that other wives left the house because of you or that you drove them away. Is this true?
No, we still get along. If I was the one that drove them away, we won’t still be talking with each other. We would be fighting all over the street. We are very close. We phone each other. Well, polygamy with some people could be hell, but with chief it’s different because he was a happy person and he tried to make everybody happy. We wore the same clothes and jewelries. We all traveled together whenever he wanted us to go with him. At times, I took the children to London while he went with one on a cruise or took me on cruise while the others took the children abroad. Whatever we wanted, he did for us. So we were very happy. I never had any quarrels with any of his wives. Never!
Could you give us tips on how to be a nice mother-in-law?
To be a good mother-in-law, you have to love your daughter-in-law. I can only speak for myself. Bola is like the daughter I never had. I have only one boy. When my son brought her to me, I took her like my own daughter. She calls me mommy. We are very close. Anything bothering me I call her and we talk. I’m even closer to her than my son. She’s a very good daughter-in-law. I’m glad Segun picked a good wife.
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